Tuesday, April 28, 2009
"Before I was a Mom"
My sister-in-law posted this and I just had to share it too.
Mad Love,
Sara
"Before I was a Mom -
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every
10 minutes to make sure my baby was okay and still breathing.
I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache,
The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much
Before I was a Mom"
Mad Love,
Sara
"Before I was a Mom -
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on. Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests. Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every
10 minutes to make sure my baby was okay and still breathing.
I had never known the warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache,
The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much
Before I was a Mom"
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
In the land of Blah
I am so excited to be moving and at the same time I look around this pit of an apartment I all I feel is blah.
It is so overwhelming. I am trying to pack things and it feels just impossible to get this done. Not to mention that I really don't have the proper tools to do this anyway. I need stuff for packing. I have boxes but no way to tape, label or safely wrap breakables. I have a three year old up my ass all day, I love him but a moment to myself would rock. I am 22 weeks pregnant and my back is really starting to hurt along with feeling fatigue all the time again. All I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep for the next 23 days and just wake up in my new apartment. I have no issues unpacking, I actually LOVE that part. I just hate the packing to begin with.
There is so much to sift through it really is amazing the amount of pure shit you can accumulate in three years.
Ok back to the land of Blah where nothing is fun and everything is....well.....blah.
It is so overwhelming. I am trying to pack things and it feels just impossible to get this done. Not to mention that I really don't have the proper tools to do this anyway. I need stuff for packing. I have boxes but no way to tape, label or safely wrap breakables. I have a three year old up my ass all day, I love him but a moment to myself would rock. I am 22 weeks pregnant and my back is really starting to hurt along with feeling fatigue all the time again. All I want to do is curl up in bed and sleep for the next 23 days and just wake up in my new apartment. I have no issues unpacking, I actually LOVE that part. I just hate the packing to begin with.
There is so much to sift through it really is amazing the amount of pure shit you can accumulate in three years.
Ok back to the land of Blah where nothing is fun and everything is....well.....blah.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Monday Madness
So happy to be throwing out half this apartment today! We are moving with the bare necessities in May and I CAN NOT WAIT to be clutter free!
Ok that is all I wanted to say. I am shamefully going to take pictures of what this apartment looks like now, in the middle of the sorting and then take pictures of the new place once we are all moved in for a before and after effect.
YAY FOR NEW FRONTIERS WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE!!!
Ok that is all I wanted to say. I am shamefully going to take pictures of what this apartment looks like now, in the middle of the sorting and then take pictures of the new place once we are all moved in for a before and after effect.
YAY FOR NEW FRONTIERS WITH THE ONES YOU LOVE!!!
Saturday, April 18, 2009
The end of this chapter...thank goodness
Yesterday Ben and I recieved the glorious news that we were chosen to move into a wonderful apartment with a big fenced in back yard, three bedrooms, an office a new kitchen and closer to Ben's family and my best friend Megan. Our new landlord is a peach and she has a great attitude and is definately a people person. I met with her, her husband and their six year old daughter Lily yesterday to take a closer look at the property. Ben has 100% faith in my decision and trusted to be the eyes for both of us. I've gotta say, it almost feels like a house. We have the second and third floors and our first floor neighbor is actually a really nice single mother with a six year old boy named Josh, who played with Aidan in the yard for over an hour while I chatted with everyone. When you are on the second floor you don't even realize you are on a higher floor unless you look out one of the twenty bright windows around the space. It is very solid and soundproof. The neighborhood is SUPER quiet, a nice change from our loud main street apartment now and is filled with families. In my hour and a half at the property I saw three different families all with children around Aidan's age riding bikes up and down the street.
The thrid floor of the apartment is most likely going to be a Ben and Me only zone. A place for just us. We are thinking of turning the second bedroom up there into our office and making the office downstairs Aidan's room. Savannah's room will also be downstairs which will make for an easy day with diapers and kitchen access and at night she will sleep in our room, in a bassinett or spare crib.
Overall I couldn't be more pleased. We are finally out of this shit hole with no heat, and I do mean no heat, we use space heaters from Lowes to heat this place. No more pot smoking neighbor downstairs fishbowling our hallway and second floor, no more crazy people flying around this corner at reckless speeds completely dismissing the stop sign, and most importantly for me NO MORE WARREN.
I am once again free of my home town. Let's hope this time I NEVER return to live here.
Ok back to cleaning and packing which is harder than I thought it would be at 21 weeks pregnant.
The thrid floor of the apartment is most likely going to be a Ben and Me only zone. A place for just us. We are thinking of turning the second bedroom up there into our office and making the office downstairs Aidan's room. Savannah's room will also be downstairs which will make for an easy day with diapers and kitchen access and at night she will sleep in our room, in a bassinett or spare crib.
Here are the few pictures I have; 
Overall I couldn't be more pleased. We are finally out of this shit hole with no heat, and I do mean no heat, we use space heaters from Lowes to heat this place. No more pot smoking neighbor downstairs fishbowling our hallway and second floor, no more crazy people flying around this corner at reckless speeds completely dismissing the stop sign, and most importantly for me NO MORE WARREN.
I am once again free of my home town. Let's hope this time I NEVER return to live here.
Ok back to cleaning and packing which is harder than I thought it would be at 21 weeks pregnant.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Daydreams
What I wouldn't give to be with Ben and Aidan in that red car right now.
We need our happy place, together.
We need our happy place, together.Friday, April 10, 2009
The Ninja strikes again
Today while I was washing the floor in the living room, trying to get red finger paint off the hardwood floors, I heard "Mommy, help I'm stuck!" So naturally I stopped what I was doing to go see what Aidan needed my help with.
I don't know why it always surprises me to see him in "ninja mode". This week he figured out how to get to the toys we hid on the porch behind some boxes by climbing through the high cat door on the porch door. He was able to retrieve a dinosaur before he figured out he couldn't get back through the other side without the chairs and needed to turn himself in if he was going to get back in the house. Here are the pictures...enjoy.
Nerds Vs. Geeks
How to Tell the Difference Between Nerds and Geeks Author Unknown
Geek habitat: note the excessive multiple monitors, Star Trek Klingon Sign, and Einstein and FreeBSD doll.
The terms "nerd" and "geek" are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same.A "nerd" is someone with an extremely intense interest or fascination in an intellectual field of study (often an obscure field). Being a nerd is typically associated with intellect, as they often enjoy specializing in complicated fields of study. Nerds may also have difficulties socializing with others, as they may border on being classified as a "genius".
An alternative definition is that a nerd is often, but not by definition, very intelligent, and has "skillz," spelled with a "z" to indicate that the skill set is uncommon, or perhaps impractical. This may cover a broad range of interests, from movies, to games (video and table-top), to more practical skills such as computer science.A "geek" is someone with an obscure interest or lifestyle, but not necessarily an academic one. For instance, Star Trek, World of Warcraft, or anything that requires a vivid imagination are typical areas of interest. Geeks can vary in their interests, from fun and sometimes even frivolous things, to heavy technological influences. An alternative definition of "geek" is someone who is a nerd without "skillz."
REMEMBER: Someone who calls themselves a nerd or geek may have different definitions of one or both, or completely different or mixed definitions. These tend to vary regionally, but with variation by person as well. Furthermore, it is possible for someone to be a nerd and a geek, depending on definition. For example, people who like Star Trek may be interested in NASA level quantum physics. Star Wars fans may know everything about laser weaponry. Think about it - these kinda go together. Often being a geek leads to being a nerd, as people research areas of science and technology appropriate to their interest. Similarly, nerds can become geeks, as the obscure interest could be a prime example of their particular field of expertise.
Steps
Observe the person. Do they recite lines from "Monty Python" shows or movies, or do they occasionally throw Latin words into their dialog? Nerds are not as concerned about their level of trivial knowledge as geeks are known for embracing. Geeks often take interest in the more obscure, trivial details of life, such as noticing that your present situation is much like one from a cult-classic book or movie. Nerds will seemingly be uninterested in the details of daily life, and more focused on fantastic, scientific possibilities and the future of mankind.
Take a quick inventory of their prominent possessions, especially ones related to hobbies and other interests. Check for unusual objects, such as a dictionary of an obscure language, or a shelf full of anime figures. Nerds may be more willing than geeks to show off hobbies and possessions that flaunt their intellect, where as geeks may take pride in more obscure and unique subjects.
Engage the person in conversation. If the person fails to respond in a socially comfortable manner (ie: they make you nervous, or vice versa), you may be talking to a nerd. If they respond in a comfortable manner but appear a little 'dorky', include obscure references, and/or act silly, you might be talking to a geek. Also, nerds may speak in layman's terms for your benefit because you may not understand the basic concepts of their area interest. Geeks may speak in detail about their own interests, unconcerned with whether or not you truly comprehend it.
Inquire about the person's interests. Hobbies involving Calculus, Quantum Physics, and other theoretical sciences are good indications of a nerd, while an obsession with Japanese Manga or some form of technology puts them in line with a geek.
Example nerd interests for comparison:
Theoretical Sciences such as Quantum Physics, Fuzzy Math
17th Century English Literature
Abstract Art
Classical Opera, Rachmaninov Concertos
NASA Robotic Projects
Computer Algorithms for the SETI program
Example geek interests for comparison:
Science Fiction such as the Space-Time Continuum, Temporal Prime-Directive
Japanese Manga, Graphic Novels, or superhero comic books. Be careful: Manga/Graphic Novels are not classified as comic books. You'll get in trouble if you mix up the two when communicating with a geek.
Fan-Art
SEGA Genesis Game Music played by a Japanese Heavy Metal Band
RobotWars, BattleBots
Building and Modding Computers for Gaming
Tips
To engage a geek or a nerd in conversation, be prepared to accept that there is something fundamentally interesting about what they obsess about. You may not fully understand why, but just accept that it is so.
Nerds may not feel the need to defend attacks against their areas of interest, since their fields are far too advanced to be toppled by simple arguments. However, geeks may find the need to defend their interests when attacked. The interests of geeks are often ridiculed or put-down by those who do not fully appreciate them. For nerds, they know that their interests are beyond normal peoples' understanding, so they just accept that as a natural phenomenon.
Some nerds believe that their interests are of "potential value to humanity as a whole, although humanity doesn't know it yet".
Geeks may have the uncanny ability to find something valuable and worthwhile in what is dismissed by most as trash. That is certainly a talent.
It is incumbent upon the general populace to continue attempting to integrate geeks and nerds into society. Be patient. It is worth the effort.
Warnings
Geeks are well aware of their 'geekiness'. Many geeks are even proud of being a geek, hence the launching of sites such as ThinkGeek.com, LifeHacker, Gizmodo, and Engadget. Therefore, do not ever challenge a geek's level of geekdom if you wish to converse with them. Likewise, do not question the intellect of a nerd, lest you be shunned from their conversations.
Many nerds and geeks are introverted, and some are even asocial. They may even not want to talk to you at all. Be patient when conversing with them.
Don't assume that geeks and nerds only have one interest. A Trekkie, or Anime enthusiast may also play football, or the electric guitar. Geeks and nerds are often well-rounded, interesting people just like YOU! Take care not to brand them as freaks, or weirdos. They're just different. Diversity in society is good! It's what defines us as individuals.
Nerds are clever, and witty. Many geeks are very clever too. Don't treat them like idiots just because they like the sci-fi channel, or know the Constitution in Latin.
Nerds and geeks do not want to be 'converted' into 'popular' people. do not assume this. It's not like the movies where all they do is worship the popular kids. They're not scared of popular people either. Many believe themselves to be on a higher level to the general population - you must accept that a common theme in science fiction, a topic that most nerds and geeks are interested in, is the advancement of humankind. Their interest, be it a TV show or movie or board game or comic, probably details how humans are evolved creatures in the future, with a better understanding of life and the universe. So don't go acting better than a nerd or geek, because chances are they'll deem you an non-evolved, primitive form of human life.
Some people consider this backwards, and instead think that nerds have obsessions with nonacademic things, such as Star Trek, and that geeks have interest in things more like physics, and computers.
Always be sure to know the local definition of geek/nerd, as some geeks/nerds are adamant about one placing or the other.
Geek habitat: note the excessive multiple monitors, Star Trek Klingon Sign, and Einstein and FreeBSD doll.
The terms "nerd" and "geek" are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same.A "nerd" is someone with an extremely intense interest or fascination in an intellectual field of study (often an obscure field). Being a nerd is typically associated with intellect, as they often enjoy specializing in complicated fields of study. Nerds may also have difficulties socializing with others, as they may border on being classified as a "genius".
An alternative definition is that a nerd is often, but not by definition, very intelligent, and has "skillz," spelled with a "z" to indicate that the skill set is uncommon, or perhaps impractical. This may cover a broad range of interests, from movies, to games (video and table-top), to more practical skills such as computer science.A "geek" is someone with an obscure interest or lifestyle, but not necessarily an academic one. For instance, Star Trek, World of Warcraft, or anything that requires a vivid imagination are typical areas of interest. Geeks can vary in their interests, from fun and sometimes even frivolous things, to heavy technological influences. An alternative definition of "geek" is someone who is a nerd without "skillz."
REMEMBER: Someone who calls themselves a nerd or geek may have different definitions of one or both, or completely different or mixed definitions. These tend to vary regionally, but with variation by person as well. Furthermore, it is possible for someone to be a nerd and a geek, depending on definition. For example, people who like Star Trek may be interested in NASA level quantum physics. Star Wars fans may know everything about laser weaponry. Think about it - these kinda go together. Often being a geek leads to being a nerd, as people research areas of science and technology appropriate to their interest. Similarly, nerds can become geeks, as the obscure interest could be a prime example of their particular field of expertise.
Steps
Observe the person. Do they recite lines from "Monty Python" shows or movies, or do they occasionally throw Latin words into their dialog? Nerds are not as concerned about their level of trivial knowledge as geeks are known for embracing. Geeks often take interest in the more obscure, trivial details of life, such as noticing that your present situation is much like one from a cult-classic book or movie. Nerds will seemingly be uninterested in the details of daily life, and more focused on fantastic, scientific possibilities and the future of mankind.
Take a quick inventory of their prominent possessions, especially ones related to hobbies and other interests. Check for unusual objects, such as a dictionary of an obscure language, or a shelf full of anime figures. Nerds may be more willing than geeks to show off hobbies and possessions that flaunt their intellect, where as geeks may take pride in more obscure and unique subjects.
Engage the person in conversation. If the person fails to respond in a socially comfortable manner (ie: they make you nervous, or vice versa), you may be talking to a nerd. If they respond in a comfortable manner but appear a little 'dorky', include obscure references, and/or act silly, you might be talking to a geek. Also, nerds may speak in layman's terms for your benefit because you may not understand the basic concepts of their area interest. Geeks may speak in detail about their own interests, unconcerned with whether or not you truly comprehend it.
Inquire about the person's interests. Hobbies involving Calculus, Quantum Physics, and other theoretical sciences are good indications of a nerd, while an obsession with Japanese Manga or some form of technology puts them in line with a geek.
Example nerd interests for comparison:
Theoretical Sciences such as Quantum Physics, Fuzzy Math
17th Century English Literature
Abstract Art
Classical Opera, Rachmaninov Concertos
NASA Robotic Projects
Computer Algorithms for the SETI program
Example geek interests for comparison:
Science Fiction such as the Space-Time Continuum, Temporal Prime-Directive
Japanese Manga, Graphic Novels, or superhero comic books. Be careful: Manga/Graphic Novels are not classified as comic books. You'll get in trouble if you mix up the two when communicating with a geek.
Fan-Art
SEGA Genesis Game Music played by a Japanese Heavy Metal Band
RobotWars, BattleBots
Building and Modding Computers for Gaming
Tips
To engage a geek or a nerd in conversation, be prepared to accept that there is something fundamentally interesting about what they obsess about. You may not fully understand why, but just accept that it is so.
Nerds may not feel the need to defend attacks against their areas of interest, since their fields are far too advanced to be toppled by simple arguments. However, geeks may find the need to defend their interests when attacked. The interests of geeks are often ridiculed or put-down by those who do not fully appreciate them. For nerds, they know that their interests are beyond normal peoples' understanding, so they just accept that as a natural phenomenon.
Some nerds believe that their interests are of "potential value to humanity as a whole, although humanity doesn't know it yet".
Geeks may have the uncanny ability to find something valuable and worthwhile in what is dismissed by most as trash. That is certainly a talent.
It is incumbent upon the general populace to continue attempting to integrate geeks and nerds into society. Be patient. It is worth the effort.
Warnings
Geeks are well aware of their 'geekiness'. Many geeks are even proud of being a geek, hence the launching of sites such as ThinkGeek.com, LifeHacker, Gizmodo, and Engadget. Therefore, do not ever challenge a geek's level of geekdom if you wish to converse with them. Likewise, do not question the intellect of a nerd, lest you be shunned from their conversations.
Many nerds and geeks are introverted, and some are even asocial. They may even not want to talk to you at all. Be patient when conversing with them.
Don't assume that geeks and nerds only have one interest. A Trekkie, or Anime enthusiast may also play football, or the electric guitar. Geeks and nerds are often well-rounded, interesting people just like YOU! Take care not to brand them as freaks, or weirdos. They're just different. Diversity in society is good! It's what defines us as individuals.
Nerds are clever, and witty. Many geeks are very clever too. Don't treat them like idiots just because they like the sci-fi channel, or know the Constitution in Latin.
Nerds and geeks do not want to be 'converted' into 'popular' people. do not assume this. It's not like the movies where all they do is worship the popular kids. They're not scared of popular people either. Many believe themselves to be on a higher level to the general population - you must accept that a common theme in science fiction, a topic that most nerds and geeks are interested in, is the advancement of humankind. Their interest, be it a TV show or movie or board game or comic, probably details how humans are evolved creatures in the future, with a better understanding of life and the universe. So don't go acting better than a nerd or geek, because chances are they'll deem you an non-evolved, primitive form of human life.
Some people consider this backwards, and instead think that nerds have obsessions with nonacademic things, such as Star Trek, and that geeks have interest in things more like physics, and computers.
Always be sure to know the local definition of geek/nerd, as some geeks/nerds are adamant about one placing or the other.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
What are the chances?
Tomorrow I have my third Ultrasound.
I had one at 10 weeks to confirm hearbeat, Ben bought me an ultrasound package for my birthday at 15.5 weeks when we were told we were having a girl and now at 19.5 weeks my doc has ordered one for the medical documentation. She wants to make sure the baby is healthy, growing at the proper rate, has enough amniotic fluid, oh...and wants to make sure it is actually a girl.
When she said that I nearly fell off the table.
"You mean there is actually a possibility that the people who do gender ultrasounds for a living may be wrong about us having a girl?"
"Oh yes it happens all the time. Especially in early predicted girls"
I got a bit light headed then and asked for a glass of water. My doc then checked my pulse which is usually really low and smiled saying "well at least your blood pressure just went up a bit".
Not funny lady. Reeeeeeeeeeally not funny.
So tomorrow is the big day. At 10:45am Ben will be holding my hand as we find out YET AGAIN if we are having a boy or a girl.
I did the research and a LOT of sites say not to get your hopes up until 18-20 weeks and even then to get confirmation of gender after week 26.
W.
T.
F.
Everyone think pink girly princess thoughts please.
My sister-in-law is in for one hell of an afternoon if this goes masculine. I am going to camp out on her couch crying until I am out of tears. I am sure her and my baby niece will make me feel better either way. They have a way with doing that.
I had one at 10 weeks to confirm hearbeat, Ben bought me an ultrasound package for my birthday at 15.5 weeks when we were told we were having a girl and now at 19.5 weeks my doc has ordered one for the medical documentation. She wants to make sure the baby is healthy, growing at the proper rate, has enough amniotic fluid, oh...and wants to make sure it is actually a girl.
When she said that I nearly fell off the table.
"You mean there is actually a possibility that the people who do gender ultrasounds for a living may be wrong about us having a girl?"
"Oh yes it happens all the time. Especially in early predicted girls"
I got a bit light headed then and asked for a glass of water. My doc then checked my pulse which is usually really low and smiled saying "well at least your blood pressure just went up a bit".
Not funny lady. Reeeeeeeeeeally not funny.
So tomorrow is the big day. At 10:45am Ben will be holding my hand as we find out YET AGAIN if we are having a boy or a girl.
I did the research and a LOT of sites say not to get your hopes up until 18-20 weeks and even then to get confirmation of gender after week 26.
W.
T.
F.
Everyone think pink girly princess thoughts please.
My sister-in-law is in for one hell of an afternoon if this goes masculine. I am going to camp out on her couch crying until I am out of tears. I am sure her and my baby niece will make me feel better either way. They have a way with doing that.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Can you stand it?
Seriously this beautiful niece of mine has cuteness and lovable down to a science. I couldn't take my eyes off her yesterday and woke up thinking about her today. How gorgeous can one baby be you may ask? Just take a look...
Olivia Marie Norman 6 weeks old.She just melts my heart into a million pieces.
YAY I'm an Auntie!!!!
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