Wednesday, August 25, 2010

It's just me, myself and I

Its 1:33am

I am once again left disappointed and alone at the end of what should have been a fun and lovely evening. My "best friend", or so he would like to be called, quit smoking yesterday, after starting up again in secret over a month ago. As a result of his sudden stop in nicotine intake I have endured nasty comments and snippy remarks all day. We also didn't make our family outing as planned today.

Tonight, we had friends and some family over for games, drinks, and snacks as we usually do once a month. As usual I was incharge of gathering all the food, supplies, and drinks for the evening as well as making dinner. No biggie, I'm used to it. My issue comes from the promise of a new man, the promise of the man I married that has somehow faded into the darkness and has been swallowed by "distractions". Distractions that morph from day to day. One day cigarettes, the next day alcohol, the next day TV, the next day online poker...which tonight resulted in the TV being on while company was here (a well know pet peeve of mine) and the actual rudeness of playing poker on his cell phone while we tried to play a group game and have adult conversation with our guests.

Where did you go? Where are you? I miss you and I want you back. Two weeks ago I was promised your return and since are still MIA and my heart is breaking.

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