First 30 of the new 101

30/101
1. read and finish The Happiness Project
2. find something one on one to do with each child. Like a sport or a hobby just mommy and me activity
3. payoff all credit cards
4. trade in the Corolla for a minivan
5. make a daily schedule for the kids and stick to it. Rotate activities (sports) as the seasons change.
6. get the point where I can set up all my bills to pay automatically and not have to worry about it
7. Study and take the GRE
8. Apply and get accepted into a Masters Program
9. Get back to O-Town
10. Twenty spa visits. Cause I deserve it damn it.
11. Buy a cook book and make everything in it. (ala Julia/Julia style)
12. Get Ben to NYC for a night
13. Ireland
14. Sesame Place with the kids
15. Get in the water with sharks (Typhoon Lagoon is a good start)
16. Knit that blanket for my mom I keep saying I'm going to
17. Learn to quilt
18. Make memory quilt out of the kids baby stuff.
19. Complete the upper arm sleeve
20. Try Lobster
21. Take the family on a picnic with our own longaberger picnic basket
22. Start retirement planning
23. Get life insurance
24. Learn French
25. Learn Spanish
26. Take Ben for a day/night at Cocoa Village. Lunch at Murdocks, is a must and Ultra Lounge for drinks.
27. New Orleans
28. Miami
29. 5 RedSox games
30. Play in a casino poker tournament

Bring on 2011...oh and 101 in 1001 starts again

So my favorite holiday is here! New Year's Eve. I LOVE NYE. I love the whole idea of starting fresh, making resolutions, clean slates and the magic of the change a year can make. I always liked this holiday, in my early twenties it was more for the party but in the last five years its more for the philosophical take, the rebirth so to say. Today is the 30th, my new daughter is one week old today, and even though I am feeling under the weather (thanks to my two eldest children and their germfest) I am going to start my new 101 list. I had about 50 things down already but they are on our family computer which has unfortunately met its demise two weeks ago(Damn hackers). So tonight my goal is to come up with at least the first thirty and then finish by the ball drop tomorrow night at midnight. Which for the third year in a row I will be watching from the comfort of my couch, in my PJ's, having a glass of wine with my husband.

It is amazing how family life can change you. Instead of an outrageous party in Downtown I am most excited for having my children in bed, and me on the couch to watch Ryan Seacrest (GAG) try to replace the irreplaceable Dick Clark. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Party of Five

Miss Violette Rose Norman was born on Dec 23, 2010 at 8:46am. She weighed and measured exactly like her sister Savannah at 6lbs 9oz and 19.5 inches long. She is the most adorable thing. She makes these little squeaky noises and LOVES to be snuggled and falls asleep instantly when I hold her. I feel like our family is complete now. Three BEAUTIFUL and HEALTHY children bless me with their presence everyday and although I am well aware of the "honeymoon" stage of a new baby and how it will eventually wear off I can't help by smile ear to ear when I look around our home and see our preschooler, toddler and newborn who all look at me with these giant eyes and smiles for "Mommy".

Mommy. That is I. And no office, no career, no paycheck could ever replace the wonderful feeling I have when I am home raising my children. I am truly lucky to be able to do so...even if only for a little while.

Violette (sp)

New interesting things I found on the name Violet. Which we will now be spelling Violette if Ben can stop making omlette jokes about spelling it that way. lol

"Violet;From the Old French violette, a diminutive form of viole, which is derived from the Latin viola (a violet). The name has been in use since the Middle Ages in France. As a flower, Violet has a variety of meanings: Love; Modesty; Virtue; Affection; Faithfulness ("I'll always be true") and a Good Luck symbol for women. Violets can be either violet or white. The violet is February's birth flower."


Love that its a good luck symbol for women and I had no idea that violets could be white.

That is it for today's piece of useless trivial information.

You are welcome. :)

Employment Rant

I had to turn down a job that I generally would have LOVED today. The money was good, the job itself was JUST what I would have wanted and who would have been my boss would have made an amazing mentor in the field of Psychology. The kicker is this job was at a hospital, which means not only would I FINALLY be working in a hospital but I would be in a Union. I am not so much a fan of being in a union as I am the exclusivity that comes with job opportunities once you are in. Anyway, it was as a therapist. The only catch was of course, as always, the hours. It was a per diem position but for the first five months I needed to be available 3-8pm Monday through Friday. Ben is home Wed and Friday, but that still leaves three other days/nights that I have no sitter for the kids. If the hours were reversed, say 8-3pm or something it would have been much more doable.

I'm just heartbroken.

It was a job in my field, using my degree, in a hospital, with full benefits even at 25 hours...and I had to turn it down. IN THIS ECONOMY I HAD TO TURN DOWN A GREAT JOB.

FML

Hijacked

My Princess Piglet/Peanut daughter has hijacked our King size bed

On a nightly basis, yes I said nightly, she is in our bed sleeping between me and my husband. She rolls, thrashes, kicks, and all but beats us up in our sleep. She also has a way of making a King size bed feel like three people are sleeping on a twin size mattress. My DH, who lovingly can not part with her and insists she sleep with us nightly has 3/4 of the bed while the princess is habitually pushed to my side of the bed...every night.

Mind you, besides the normal annoyances of having a child sleep between my husband (whom I see rarely because of his schedule) and myslef I am seven months pregnant. So sleeping is not exactly that comfortable for me to begin with. And I take up more room than a NOT seven month pregnant person yet I still seem to be pushed to lay unable to sleep most nights.

It is 5:49am, I should be getting the sleep and rest I need to take on tomorrows activities with the kids. Instead, I am downstairs blogging to kill time and seriously considering sleeping on the couch.

Still fighting that feeling...

I have wanted to go to medical school for years now. I even have most of my pre-med done, only two classes to go. Once I had Savannah DH and I weighed the options and being home with my children was the winner. Now with a third on the way and knowing I am going to be for the majority of at least the next 5 years a homemaker/stay at home mom, I feel I am put in a pretty good spot to peck away at classes and a higher degree. The problem is you can't peck away at an MD. I still watch Grey's Anatomy, old episodes of ER and all those shows and am instantly in love all over again with going to work in scrubs and wearing gloves 80% of the day.

I also think about going back to NEIT to finish my Surgical Tech degree. At least then I could be in a hospital setting and work per diem for some really good money when I can. But five years after I started that program they are eliminating a lot of those positions and giving the work load to OR Nurses now. I don't want to complete another degree process only to be in a field that is going to be extinguished in a few years.

So I'm still left, fighting that feeling.

From my husband

This was in my husbands blog. I wanted to post it here in case he ever deletes his blog I can have it FOREVER in mine. I reread it today, and it made me cry.

"Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Wife
There will never be, nor has there ever been someone more important, more caring, more loving, more understanding, more beautiful, more encouraging, more supporting, more forgiving, or more loyal in my life than you.

I love you more than words will ever allow me the luxury of elaborating on. You are everything to me, and without you behind me pushing me to be better I would be lost and alone. This time last year we were holding our breath waiting for that life changing moment where I stumbled through putting your wedding band on your finger and saying "I do". A phrase that will forever echo in my memory.

I still remember your face that day, staring into your eyes knowing that I married my best friend, knowing that I would love you and cherish you all the days I am alive, and into eternity.

I know lately we get lost in the struggle of our daily lives, and I know I do not stop enough to tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much I love you, but I want you to know that I do very much so, with every ounce of energy I have in me.

I could not, nor would I change anything about you, and I could not pick anyone better to spend my days with. So if I forget to tell you I love you, and you need to hear it, you can always come here and read it, and I will do my best to remember.

We did manage to get a lot done this year, though we have not met all of our goals, we did do a few things that bettered our position.

* we moved out of warren into a nicer house
* we have a back yard
* we had a beautiful baby girl
* you have almost finished your bachelors degree
* I am starting a new career
* we sold the bmw
* we bought a second car
* we figured out a method to raise our son that seems to work
* you got a part time job teaching dance, which you love
* I got over my fear of you teaching dance
* we got health insurance after a lot of back and forth
* we had fun at a toy store


And the list goes on....

I love you Sara Norman with all of my core, do not for a moment forget it.
Posted by BCN at 10:23pm"

You, my dear, are grounded!

So yesterday I felt AWFUL. Super fatigued, beyond exhausted, monstrous headache, you get the idea. I called my doctor's office and they said it may be the low blood count and to lay down and go into the hospital if I felt worse later in the day. Since the hospital can process blood work faster than my doctor's office who need to send it out for results. I did end up going into the hospital and my DH once hearing that I was going to go in with the kids in tow left work to come home and be with them. This was 3:30pm.

By 5pm I was having regular contractions, feeling worse, admitted, with an IV for fluids and a bunch of tests being run on my blood and "other" things to determine what that hell was going on. I'm only 26 weeks pregnant, labor is REALLY not an option right now. My mom offered to come pick up the kids from Ben at home so that he could join me at the hospital and he was there by 6pm.

One of the tests I had done was a Fetal Fibronectin (fFN): A Test for Premature Delivery (google it, I had never heard of it and its kind of neat scientifically speaking). After an hour or so we learned that it was positive. Not so good.

More monitoring, more tests, an ultrasound, and an exam showed I was 1 cent dialated. I was then given labor-suppressing (tocolytic) medication through my IV and the contractions came to a halt. They kept me there for three more hours to make sure they didn't return and then let me go home. On the strict stipulation that if ANY contractions start again to come directly back so they can try to stop them. If they can't I get an ambulance ride to Woman & Infants because Memorial Hospital doesn't have a NICU and that is what the baby would need if I delivered this early.

My mother and Megan were in constant communication with me via cell phone, which was nice to know they were there for me, always good to have some strong females in your team. Megan offered a bunch of times to come down, if I was getting worse I would have had her come but things seemed to be slowing down and I was in the best place I could be. The weirdest part of this entire thing for me was I went in because I wasn't feeling good...NOT because I was having contractions. Those started AFTER I was already admitted for fatigue and being considered for a blood transfusion.

On a happy note I got to see nurses Barbara, Kim, and Corliss who all helped in my labor and delivery for Savannah last August. I love those women and I loved that they remembered me even more. They even remembered details of my 19 hours with them last year, they brought things up I had even forgotten until they mentioned them and we all had a good laugh. I was touched. I love Memorial Hospital, the personal care is one of the things I feel sets them apart from W&I in Providence.

So, end result; Lots of rest (yeah right, even as I type this I got up this morning with the kids, got Aidan ready for school, made breakfast and lunch for him and am about to drive him there) and baby girl number two is GROUNDED....for at least another 10 weeks I don't want to see her beautiful little face!

An Oath of sorts..to my family

I want and claim the right for my children to feel appreciated and valued by me and by everyone in our family. I do not want them to ever feel alone or doubt their place in a loving committed family. I want my kids to know and feel that they are loved for who they are, that I am proud of them and that I will always be there for them. I may not endorse everything they do, but I will not ever reject them. If any member of my family feels like their contributions are not being recognized or acknowledged by others in the family, that's not okay....not now, not ever. I believe that children live what they learn and I want to teach them by example that relationships in our family are sacred, to be honored and to be cherished. I know that family life has its ups and downs, its arguments, problems, conflicts and differences of opinion. And that there has NEVER been a family free of rough spots. But I want our family relationships to be so strong that they transend the inevitable daily strife of family living. I want everyone in my famiy to be true to themselves, loving themselves, feeling fulfilled and living with peace and joy.

I do not think this is an impossible thing to accomplish. It just requires dedication and focus. I love you Ben, Aidan, Savvy, and baby yet to be named.

Always.

My favorite things

As I sit here watching Sesame Street with my almost 5 year old and now 1 year old daughter, as we do every morning at 10am, I am so amazed that these little beautiful kids are mine. I know I complain as most moms do, about the laundry and the thanklessness of being a housewife (one who also works outside the house in this case). But in reality, things are pretty awesome with my kids now.

Aidan has gotten his "extreme temperament" under AMAZING control. We talk. We laugh. We genuinely enjoy each others company. No more yelling, no more crying, no more kicking and hitting. Just Aidan. My adorable little man has returned and I am SO beyond blessed to be part of his world.

Savannah turned one five days ago and I still can not believe it. She is babbling away now and pulls herself up on EVERYTHING. She's a little explorer and still the happiest easiest baby I've ever known. The only thing I would change is Daddy still insists she sleeps in our room, most of the time in our bed. I love her, but I also love my alone time and my bedroom should be a sanctuary. Children can sleep in our bed with us occasionally but nightly is a completely different story. I digress, Sav is perfection. She is a smiling princess piglet of perfection. I can not imagine what the next baby girl will have in store since I idolize Savs so much.

The next baby girl, whom shall remain nameless until her birthday since we can not decide on a name to save our lives, is active nightly and is still the best little pregnancy ever. THIS is how I can almost see the "I didn't know I was pregnant" shows can happen. If I was heavier I would never know I was pregnant. My belly isn't hard, its squishy, I have no other symptoms besides fatigue which can easily be chalked up to my schedule. If every pregnancy was like this I would have a dozen!

Ok off to clean the house, get a new tire for the car and do laundry...it never ends...but I love it.

It's just me, myself and I

Its 1:33am

I am once again left disappointed and alone at the end of what should have been a fun and lovely evening. My "best friend", or so he would like to be called, quit smoking yesterday, after starting up again in secret over a month ago. As a result of his sudden stop in nicotine intake I have endured nasty comments and snippy remarks all day. We also didn't make our family outing as planned today.

Tonight, we had friends and some family over for games, drinks, and snacks as we usually do once a month. As usual I was incharge of gathering all the food, supplies, and drinks for the evening as well as making dinner. No biggie, I'm used to it. My issue comes from the promise of a new man, the promise of the man I married that has somehow faded into the darkness and has been swallowed by "distractions". Distractions that morph from day to day. One day cigarettes, the next day alcohol, the next day TV, the next day online poker...which tonight resulted in the TV being on while company was here (a well know pet peeve of mine) and the actual rudeness of playing poker on his cell phone while we tried to play a group game and have adult conversation with our guests.

Where did you go? Where are you? I miss you and I want you back. Two weeks ago I was promised your return and since then....you are still MIA and my heart is breaking.

The Switch-a-roo

Pretty sure Ben and I are going to change the new baby's name...Rosalie is too close to Savannah Rose, which is what we call Savs most of the time. So, we are going back to our very first girl name choice when we found out it was a girl at the 16 week ultrasound, Violet. And just for shits and giggles (and because Lucia doesn't go with Violet...it starts to sound like Violently when you yell it) we may just give her my middle name, Jean. Violet Jean Norman.

Let's see if this one sticks.

Breathing again

So, I've started breathing again. My bestest and I got our kids together yesterday afternoon for a few hours of fun at the children's museum. It was our first time hanging out since the awful day we discovered that my son has "extreme/intense temperament" and assaulted one of her kids, badly. I feared for the last few weeks that our friendship would end over this event and even though neither of us would have seen it coming it still pained me to an insanely guilty state. I mention Meg in a lot of my blog entries so I am sure anyone who reads knows what she means to me. She is my rock. I have been at a loss in the last few weeks without her. I didn't want to over crowd her and in advice from a mutual friend gave her the time and space to heal a bit and then contact me. When I saw her yesterday at the museum I wanted to jump out of my chair, give her the biggest hug and just start crying (a mix of both joy and sadness, sadness over what happened but joy over the fact that she was there in front of me once again).

But I didn't. I stayed put in my seat, fed Savs and we went about our normal conversation. I can not believe how big her son has gotten and how fast he is moving/running around! I missed him. I missed her. I missed our little jumble of freak show kiddie fun together. You know how they say it takes a village? Not true. It takes one reeeeeeeeeeally good friend who understands what you mean, how you feel, and what your going to do.... before you even have to say it. That's Meg.

Lady in Waiting

There are times when I really do wonder if the people in my life feel the same way about me as I do them.

For the second time this month I had plans with someone and was cast aside for a chance to get a wee bit drunk. As if all consideration and thoughtfulness goes out the window and I end up being the person who gets the short end of the stick. We made plans, twice. I got excited, twice. I arranged my day, twice. Only to be let down, twice.

I feel like I'm always waiting. Waiting for something to happen, waiting for something to go wrong, waiting for someone to get home, waiting for someone to call me with an invitation to go do something (which I normally can't anyway because I always have the kids in my care), waiting for the next day DH has off so we can spend some time together (not that this even matters because the XBox and friends also want his attention)...even married, I'm still a Lady in Waiting.

SmartyPig Widget

SmartyPig Widget: "Check out my SmartyPig goals."

We have a name

So we knew for a while now what the baby's first name was going to be if it was a girl and now we have the middle name. Martha Zapata is someone very close to me. She was my maid of honor at my wedding and although she lives 1,200 miles away I still consider her one of my closest friends. The inside jokes we share go on for days and of course there is always Ireland. ;) In honor of her I (we) wanted to include her name in our baby's...but Martha just doesn't flow right. Sooooo we decided to use her middle name as our new daughter's middle name. I am so excited to get to honor the friend who stood by me through pregnancy, moving, life changes and motherhood by passing a part of her onto my second daughter, Rosalie Lucia Norman.

IT'S A GIRL!!!! AGAIN!!!!

Ultrasound today told us two things....

1)Ben was right...its a girl. To be named Rosalie :)

2) My due date is December 31st NOT the 22nd as they originally guessed. NEW YEARS BABY!

#3 symptoms and a quick update

Ok so I'm two days shy of 15 weeks and I can honestly say this is the best pregnancy so far (knock on wood). Aside from the normal first trimester fatigue and headaches that I had with Aidan and Savannah the only other thing that is symptomatic is my weird craving for broccoli cheese soup and baked potatoes SMOTHERED in bacon, butter and cheese. I mean I always liked baked potatoes but now I eat one almost daily. I get them at work, I have Ben bring some home, or I scrap up change to get one at Wendy's. What is more ridiculous is the broccoli soup thing. I can count how many times I have had broccoli cheese soup in my life....three. But it is all I think about....weirder still because it is freaking 90 degree's outside!

I am still convinced that this baby is a boy. Ben is convinced that it is a girl. Only a few more weeks until we know for sure. Aidan is excited about having another sibling but he is on Team Blue as well....as he wants a little brother now. Speaking of my little man he got a "daddy haircut" and looks like he has aged 3 years to me. I can not believe how big he is getting. I feel like yesterday I was helping him learn to walk...now he's jumping into pools and writing his name beautifully.

Savannah had an overnight at Hasbro Children's Hospital last week for an observational overnight to monitor her oxygen levels when she sleeps since she stops breathing every once in a while and then takes fast huge gulps of air afterward. Her oxygen levels never dropped more than 1% so they did other assessments and then decided that she was ok to go home until a more in-depth sleep study could be done in July in Boston. They also figured out that she doesn't need early intervention....she's just content (lazy) and will do things when she wants. Which is apparently what my sister did as well, according to my mom.

Ok back to the Sunday grind...clean clean clean...just so it can get destroyed tomorrow and Ben can say I don't do housework. *eyeroll*

Megan's Memorial day

In case she forgets to blog it; here are the cues; package store with the kids, then walks an empty double stroller home.

BWAHAHAHAH!

The Happiness Project

I mentioned it in an earlier post but I FINALLY bought the book that was recommended by some classmates in my Abnormal Psych class a few months ago. I waited till I racked up $15 in Borders bucks, THEN I amazingly had a 33% off coupon in my gmail inbox that I could use and to my "happy" disbelief I got the $26 book for $2.43. Not a bad way to start my Happiness Project off if I do say so myself. Off to purge the closets and get rid of all of these extra PILES AND PILES of clothes around the house and then dinner, kids in bed, and I'm diving into my book!

MA MA!!!

SHE IS SAYING MA MA!!!!

I cried the first time I heard it...makes me SOOOO HAPPY to hear it!

What is that I see????

Here is a little of the situation that has been playing out over the last fourteen days....I was late, got BFP, went to doc, got BFP there too, went to ultrasound the next day for dating to figure out how far along I am only to discover that there was a gestational sac but NO BABY growing in my uterus. Something they diagnosed as a Blighted Ovum. Sad, cry, move forward, make doctors appointment for Wednesday May 12th to do follow up.

So.... I went to the doctors on the 12th to do a confirmation ultrasound basically to figure out at what stage in my miscarriage I was in, whether I needed a D&C and/or if my body had already started the process and no medical intervention would be necessary. To the entire office's and my own disbelief there on the screen appeared a little peanut....with a heartbeat. The office is calling it the "miracle baby" since it was confirmed quite a few times that there was no baby growing last week BUT this week....there is a perfectly healthy 8 week old baby out of nowhere. They said it was now safe to spread the word and let family know since a strong healthy heartbeat was established multiple times.

I now present you with Bambino Numero three....The third (and unplanned) addition to the Norman Family.

Kiss that waistline goodbye....

We are on to round three...

EDD 12/22/10

;)

Second week of April

I'm down 7 pounds! AND a dress size! I give 100% credit to the fact that I have been riding again. I started a lease on a horse two weeks ago and I am sore practically daily BUT I am losing pounds and inches. Even my boss at the dance studio noticed!

Meg and I chipped in together for a Wii Fit that is also way more fun than I remember it being. I wish I had it here though... I think I would be more dedicated.

As for The Cake Biz, its a big month for me. My first bridal show is tomorrow, I have a cake every weekend and my orders from Andrew's Bistro have almost doubled.

On the outside employment front I was offered a job, finally, at Riverside Community Care. I will be there resident overnight counselor starting next week. (Thanks to some amazingly glowing recommendations from Meg and Tony).

Well thats it for now... off to bake the night away in preparation for tomorrows show!

Epic Fail

I have in the last month, ok six weeks, been to the gym......ZERO times.

Sad I know. I put back on the 7 pounds I lost. Awesome.

So started over this week. Again, the rules are;

1. Get my fat ass to the gym
2. Stop eating crap
3. Be Dedicated

Stats; 145lbs size 13 (GAG)

Week three and four of Mission Bikini Body 2010

Week three; I only got to the gym once BUT I wore Meg's pedometer at work and found out I walk over 4.5 miles a shift and I take the stairs up and down the floors instead of the escalators and elevators. I have been sticking to me healthy eating, no fast food and no cookies so far. Just a LOT of fruit and deli meat sandwiches. I am having a bit of trouble balancing work and home time. I am so exhausted I barely have time to sleep never mind clean my pit of a house, catch up on laundry and spend quality time with my kids and husband. It has to get better right? Results; Lost another 2 lbs week three making it 9.5lbs lost total.

Week four; Did not get to the gym AT ALL. :( Stuck to the health food and skim milk. Took the stairs, and did not eat any crap. Had one small bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream one night but followed that up the next day by running the stadium stairs on my break at work. I have noticed that now my size 10 pants are getting a bit big! Results; down another 2 lbs, Total lost after four weeks is 11.5 lbs :)

She rolled....we missed it

Yesterday while I was doing homework at the computer and Savannah was playing on her rain forest mat Ben walked into the living room and said "whoa!". I turned around to see what he was looking at and the cute little baby girl that I had laid on her back about ten minutes ago was now on her belly! We missed the actual roll, so we tried to bait her into doing it again in which she laughed and smiled at us as if to say "your nuts, I'm not doing that on demand".

Diva.

Newest book want...

Week two of Mission Bikini Body 2010

So week two I only got to the gym three times last week although I was still able to beat my time. I slipped up one night and had a McChicken from the dollar menu at Mcdonalds. Then I felt shitty after that, cause I had been doing so well. I don't feel too guilty about not getting the gym 5 times last week because I started my new job at Twin River and I easily walk 6-9 miles a night there....in heels. When I got on the scale at the Y I had sadly only lost 1.5 lbs this week, totaling 5.5 so far. This week should be better as I have stuck to my "stop eating crap" rule and have dutifully exercised.

Here's hoping, that bikini I bought is looking better and better every Monday when I weigh in :)

A facebook reply to live by

"The day a game console even enters the conversation about priorities in relation to the good lovin' is the day someone needs a good cockpunch." - Ted Boynton

Mission: Bikini Body 2010

So after having my lovely daughter and now, five months later, weighing what I did when I was pregnant with her *cough* 147 *cough* I decided to make a lifestyle change. Three rules I now follow to get me back into my pre-Savannah bikini for the 2010 swimsuit season.

1. Stop eating crap.
2. Get my fat ass to the gym
3. Be dedicated

So far we are 9 days in, I have lost 4 lbs and am RUNNING for the first time in my life. I have beat my 1.5 mile time every time I run so I think I am going to aim for 2 miles on Wednesday. :)

I have started a log with virtualtrainer.lifefitness.com as well as on fitday.com to keep track of my healthy eating and exercise to make sure I am not over or under doing it.

I have substituted fruit (mainly apples, oranges and watermelon) for my sweets (I miss you cookies). And I switched from whole milk (MY FAVORITE) to Skim. I also eat one salad a day when I'm extra hungry instead of stuffing whatever I find in my mouth to satisfy the munchies I get from my former bad eating habits. So far so good!

Tomorrow I have a 6:30pm Zumba class planned...we'll see if my legs will forgive me from the extra "push through the pain" and reverse crunches I did tonight so that I can make it to that class!

After one month I am going to take my measurements again and see if there is a difference there. God I hope so cause these thighs have got to go!

This is my new trainer...she's a bitch (but I love her):

Our every wish fulfillment

Yesterday I landed a job. A good job. A great job. A life changing job.

Ben and I are so excited and RELIEVED to have TWO APPROPRIATE incomes for the first time in three years.

I am the new Assistant Beverage Manager at Twin River Casino. My staff is quite extensive but I am confident in my abilities to lead and manage them. My only fear is child care. Megan has, as always, offered to be there for us but I don't want her to get burnt out or start to resent my phone calls. For now, just trying to concentrate on the positive, wonderful news that this is.

This is it. We did it. We are on our way out of this black hole of financial quick sand. I woke up this morning and part of me thought it was a dream.

I can not believe it. It is so surreal. Nothing THIS good ever happens to me and Ben, with the exception of each other and our kids of course. I am just waiting for the rug to get pulled out, isn't that sad? I blame my mother. Who coincidentally crapped on my parade within minutes of finding out about the job offer. Her tone is unmistakable.

Today I am trying to take it all in. I look around me and I know that soon my cabinets will be full of my favorite food and not just the store brand crap that we can barely afford. That the piles upon piles of overdue bill are going to be paid, on time and in full. That we are going to have two cars again. That we are going to have a savings account. That my poor over-worked husband is going to only have to work ONE job for the first time in.....FOREVER. That my kids can take dance, and play soccer without me worrying about how I'm going to pay for their uniforms. That that vacation we need SO BADLY in June is actually a graspable reality now. That when my family is sick we can go to the doctor, and its completely paid for. That I have job security because I am now a union member. That in a time of economic crisis, Ben and I are going to come out on top. That we are going to have that house we always wanted. Most importantly, that we can expand our family in 2011 like we dreamed we would but didn't see it financially possible.

Wow. Talk about your every wish fulfillment.